While I’m not short on comedic experiences through the dates I have been on in London, I am on the romance. After Leicester boy bolted, and now just insists on playing social media mind games I had sort of given up on romance. It was only about a month and a half ago that I sat in the car with a shell-shocked Brendan “You’ve grown up” he said. In his mind, for once I was thinking “realistically.”
I have always been the girl that thought that romance should be like the movies, or that one’s romantic life should always be a fairy-tale. Perhaps that’s while I struggle with long-term commitment, that fear that a movie like romance might disintegrate with time. I’ve just always been a hopeless romantic and always tried to fulfil this constant need for magic and lust. I’ve attempted to replicate movie scenes and make them my own with previous boyfriends. I’ve laid in the middle of a highway in the early hours of the morning, just like in The Notebook and I have flown interstate to confess my love. Okay, sure that didn’t go down so well at the time but either way the thought was there, and don’t worry I got him in the end. (sucker)
So, was this a personal victory? Had I matured and was I thinking realistically? should I just settle for a life with limited to no romance?
Two weeks ago, I was sick as a dog in bed sniffling and reaching for my 20th tea and 2nd sleeve of digestives. It was then that I realised how awful It would be for me to lose this desire for romance. I don’t want to change or think differently, one of the best things about me is my infinite capacity to dream and dream big romantically. I was onto my third rom-com of the day and laughing at myself. While I have these ridiculous scenarios that seem realistic in my mind they are in fact highly unrealistic. For instance, I want a guy to rock up at my door put a beret on my head, wrap a silk scarf around my neck, and say I’m taking you to Paris for the day. In reality though, how annoying would that be? What if I had plans that day? What if I didn’t have time to do my makeup or worse my phone wasn’t charged? How would I post it all over social media? It’s just not an ideal situation when you think about it.
The problem is a lot of it is in my head, and that while I think I love these huge elaborate romantic gestures, maybe in actual fact at this age it’s all a bit too much. Like a lot of girls if it’s not with prince charming romance on a larger scale can actually be extremely uncomfortable. Take for instance when the lawyer read out Spanish lyrics and I internally cringed for him and tried to swallow the vomit in my mouth. I can only imagine it was about as uncomfortable as having a guy sit down and sing you a song with his guitar. If you’re not Niall, Harry or Justin I just wouldn’t want to hear it.
Speaking honestly, the romantic gestures that have made my heart skip a beat have been the small ones, like when a guy wore an Elvis Presley shirt because he knew my obsession. I know though that when the right guy comes along there will be no sense of uncomfortableness or cringing when they actually do something romantic. I still believe that one day I’ll get to have my Lauren Conrad moment. There she was in the most beautiful gown, whisked off on a Vespa for a midnight tour of Paris. I’ve dreamed of that happening to me ever since I watched that episode. I have not really thought of the logistics like where I would find an affordable ball gown? Who would the man be who is wearing a tuxedo driving me around? And also, the whole Vespa situation. I don’t want to wear a dorky helmet plus, there is no way my mother would ever let me on the back of one of those things.
While I was doing research for this post, and by research, I mean watching the entire sixth season of Sex and The City, it’s the best season, (obviously because Big finally finds Carrie in Paris and brings her back to New York, and well as you know they lived Happily ever after.) I realised there is plenty of time to be whisked off on romantic adventures. Perhaps the romance in my life, for the time being, can just be small and meaningful things that I appreciate. Things like remembering my Starbucks order.
So, for now, I’m just going to experience life with people like Kiwi, who I know is not prince charming but he is a good time and makes me laugh excessively. The girls like Emily, who brought me digestives and ate Greek food with me on Valentine’s day and Penny who goes to Five Guys with me at midnight for a cheeky burger, (I now realise how food motivated my life is.)
Either way, I have all the time in the world to be swept off my feet, let’s be honest I don’t even want a boyfriend for an extended amount of time. Instead, I’m going to a platonically date my friends, what could go wrong? At least I know I will always have a good time and even better a text back the next day.
As always I’ll keep you posted.